Harvest Moon? (I Can't Tell)
by Manformer
Summary: Bella has been dumped by her boyfriend Edward Cullen before he left for Italy with his "family." She finds herself in a deep depression, but discovers light thanks to Karl Pilkington and some other friends.
1. Chapter One: Violent Delights

Chapter One: Violent Delights

(AN: I'm co writing this story with the bae. please review and favorite. Flames are also welcome. or as Tara the great would say. "FLAMS." Enjoy.)

The fly on my window died…just my relationship with Edward Cullen. I curled my pale fingers into a white fist. My eyes were stinging and red with unshed tears. I could feel my heart beating in my chest, and I cursed each thump, as it was a mere reminder of my own fragile, ever-changing humanity.

"Bella!" Charlie called from downstairs. "It's nacho night!"

I sighed. I couldn't enjoy simple pleasures such as nachos, when my existence hinged upon that of my pale Adonis, my savior, my lover, my brother, my mother—wait, forget the last two.

"I'll be down in a sec," I replied, my stomach growling the engine of Edward's car.

"No, you'll come down _now,_ Bella," Charlie yelled. "Don't give me any of that "sec" crap."

I groaned, but heaved myself from the bed all the same. Each footstep was an echo of steps that I used to take with Edward, through the meadow, through his house, through dreams where I could still feel his cold embrace.

The floor creaked under my weight—the weight of my heavy, still-beating heart. When I saw Charlie at the table downstairs, an expectant smile lighting his craggy features, I tried to look happy, excited even, but such emotions were foreign to the rainclouds of my sadness.

Charlie shoved a plate of nachos at me as I sat down. I shuddered at the carb content.

"Eat, Bella," he said. "We need to get some meat

on those bones."

I gave a feeble grin in return. "Yeah, sure Cha-Dad." I only just remembered the "Dad" part. Charlie detested it when I dared refer to him as "Charlie."

I took a bite of the nachos. It tasted like cardboard. It reminded me of Edward's tongue, but in a more edible way. Then again, pretty much everything was reminding me of him. Especially all the Ice-Type Pokemon I was catching on my old Pokemon Emerald Version game I found in my nightstand upstairs.

These days, pokemon was my only escape from the pain that was my waking world. I lived through my trainer, or Edward's, escapades. Glalie my favorite-aka Rosalie, because she was so cold, was almost a level seventy.

Charlie's voice jolted me out of my tortured thoughts. "So, why don't you _hang_ with your friends tomorrow night?"

I winced as his use of the world "hang." Charlie had wanted to sound like one of the "teenagers" for a while, without realizing that I was no longer a teenager, but an old maid, too ancient for Edward.

"Sure," I said, without realizing I'd just agreed with Charlie. My stomach dropped at the thought of "hanging" with my "friends."

Charlie shot me a megawatt grin. "I'm proud of you, Bells." He said. "I know these last few months have been rough for you, but I'm happy you're working your way through them."

 _Like a fat kid at a pie-eating contest,_ I added mentally, with no certain degree of bitterness.

I ate the last of my nachos-normally I licked my plate clean, but tonight, my stomach felt like it was filled with rocks, and I was a stone sinking to the bottom of the ocean that was my unacceptable reality.

"Thanks, Dad," I said, and pushed my plate towards him. It made a weird scraping sound across the table. Like Edward's voice, when he tried singing to me that one-a smile broke across my lips, then I remembered that Edward was gone, and the smile vanished from my face.

"Hey, wanna watch some _Jeopardy_ later?" Charlie asked. I shook my head. Nachos were alright, but I drew the line at _Jeopardy._

So I returned to my room, my safe haven, where I flopped across the bed, and buried my face in the pillow. Tears began to linger on my eyelids, collecting on my frail eyelashes, and a sob tore itself free from my throat, where it burst into the open air, like a large zit.

Edward's impossibly pale face filled my mind. I remembered his amber eyes and sloping cheekbones. I was a mere peasant next to his glowing beauty, despite the fact that I had won and competed in many toddler beauty contests back in Arizona.

 _Bella..._ his voice, smooth like dark chocolate caramel, filled my mind. I moaned from the ecstasy of his smooth vibrato. _Edward..._ I thought in return, praying that he would hear me, return my message and run into my arms, his lips tracing across the contours of my face and my fingers running over his hard, defined pectoral muscles.

I forced myself up onto my elbows, my fingers groping for my Gameboy Advance SP on my nightstand. As my fingertips found the cool casing, a rush similar to that of that one vampire who looked like Dave Mustaine from Megadeth biting my arm coursed through my lithe, albeit shivering body with the 1986 LP "Peace Sells… but Who's Buying" playing in the background. I think the vampire's name was James, but I like to think that it was actually Dave Mustaine. Despite what a terrible human being that ginger-haired son of a bitch is, he makes some damn good music. Anyway, I picked up my Gameboy with my cold pale fingers, now almost as cold as Edward's. (but not as cold as Dave Mustaine's.) I flipped the switch on the side of the device and it activated like it always did, flashing with a white screen and then the letters that spelled out "Gameboy" appeared on the screen. My gaze drifted away from the screen of the Gameboy towards the now closed window that l always used to leave open for Edward to come through on those summer nights we spent together. Even though it was only a few months ago, it felt like so long ago since the Cullens had left town. When I shifted my gaze back to the gameboy screen, I realized that I'd missed the entire intro video that always played when the player turned on the game. I used to always press the "A" button and skip the intro when I was a kid, but now I liked watching the intro video. Anything to distract myself from the musings of my tortured soul. I hit the "A" button on the "Continue" option at the top of the screen. The screen flashed and there he was, the 32-bit vampire Pokemon trainer Edward. he only used Ice-type pokemon (along with a few Ghost-Types, and Zubat, Golbat, and Crobat because vampire bats.) he had bronze hair and icey pale skin just like the real Edward did.I liked to pretend that the game took place in Washington State and that Littleroot Town was Forks, Lilycove City was Seattle, and Pacifidlog Town was one of the San Juan Islands. The other cities got names as well, but I won't get into that.

I pressed the directional button on the Gameboy and watched Edward move across the screen. I wish I could move so freely, yet my legs were stiff and tired of this life. Edward's avatar hadn't yet realized the cruelties of this planet that I call home. Edward made his way into the grassy patch outside Fallarbor Town which was covered in soot from the volcano, a few steps into the grassy patch he ran into a wild pokemon. It was a Spinda, It was at a significantly lower level than the Glalie that Edward sent out, and I had no interest in capturing it nor would it give me enough EXP points to go up a level. Nonetheless, I selected the "run" option. Edward got away safely from the wild Pokemon. This process was repeated several more times but with a different Pokemon each time. Running from the wild Pokemon reminded me of how Edward used to run through the forest with me on his back.

I wish that I had someone's back to support me, yet I was entirely self-sufficient. My own back was breaking under the weight of my permeating depression, which filled the room like a black stormcloud. Lightning crashed through my mind like a Raichu when it got angry, highlighting the wreckage that Edward left behind.

I came to the realization that Pokemon alone wasn't going to distract me from Edward. I turned off the Gameboy, and stowed it back on my shelf, the promise to "play it again tomorrow" lingering on my tear-stung lips.

I walked over and picked up my laptop from my desk drawer. I had just started keeping an online diary after Edward left me and Alice stopped responding to my emails and desperate sexts. The months following Edward's departure had made me desperately horny and the sheer loneliness had made my sexual orientation irrelevant.

I typed in my password. It was "EdwardxBella5evar." In hindsight, I should've changed, as every time I typed it in, it served a horrible reminder of the fate of my only, my one true love.

My desktop background was a picture of Edward in full sunlight, wearing nothing but a jockstrap and big white Adidas sneakers that he said he got at a thrift store in 1988. He had reluctantly sent the picture to me after I'd begged him for months-he'd only relented when I promised to send him a picture of my unshaven toes. Edward had a bit of foot fetish-well, a toe fetish, to be exact. Sometimes, on those long, cold nights, he would suck them as I fell asleep. He would also ask me not to shave them because the hair turned him on. I didn't really get it, and it was kind of disgusting, but I did it for Edward, because I loved him.

I opened a new word document. _Dear Alice,_ I started to type. _I am lonely. I am sad. I miss you and Edward. You're kind of like my sister, except I'm weirdly attracted to you sometimes, I don't think a person feels that towards their sister. I hope you're reading this, because if you're not, that means I'm dead-just kidding. I just want to die. Thanks for leaving me, bitch._

I pressed save, and slammed my computer shut. My thoughts, dark and deadly, began to creep up on the edges of my tortured mind. I snorted back a snot bubble that began to form in my nose-the feeling gave me the sudden urge to hock a loogie, for some reason that always made me think of Pokemon The Movie 2000 because of the legendary Pokemon Lugia that was featured in it. It had the ability to talk and I thought it was really dope when I was a kid. I still think it's pretty cool, but now with all the new Pokemon it's hard to pick a favorite one.

Sometimes, just to feel like I wasn't alone, I would try to remember the feeling of Edward's cold lips on mine, the way his tongue slithered into my mouth like a dead, bloated snake.

But then when I thought about snakes I got on the Pokemon track again, and all of a sudden I was picturing myself making out with Arbok. _Damned PMS._

I fell back on my bed, and closed my eyes. Sleep came slowly, and so did I, As I finished my pre-sleep ritual.

My mind and body at rest; I let the fuzz creep over the backs of my eyes.


	2. Chapter Two: Violent Ends

Chapter Two: Violent Ends

I woke to the gray light of a typical Forks day streaming in through my bedroom window. Rainclouds clustered on the dark horizon; a metaphor for the darkness that permeated my feeble mind. My limbs were stiff and heavy as I rose from the tangle of sheets that I called my bed; I hadn't dared change them since Edward left me many months ago. They were the only items in my room that still carried his scent, his touch, and I couldn't let myself lose that.

The bathroom was cold and sterilized as I woodenly walked myself in-the bathroom mirror was unforgiving to my bedraggled complexion. My ivory skin was blotchy from nights spent crying, and purple circles underscored my chocolate brown eyes. My lips, full, yet not annoyingly so, were chapped and bloody from my constant chewing of them. My hair, which fell to my breasts in long, dark chocolate waves, was clumped around my face in an unsightly birds nest.

I splashed some frigid water from the sink on my face. My vision cleared; the wool was lifted from over my eyes to reveal a world I wasn't ready to see, a world that's only purpose was to injure and hurt those who were pure of heart-those like me.

"Bella, are you missing school _again?_ " Charlie called from downstairs.

"No!" I yelled in response. But that would be a lie. My plan wasn't to go to school, surrounded by people, or "sheeple" who didn't understand me and had no desire to-I was going to head straight to Jacob Black's, where I knew he would lend a forgiving ear to my depressive plight.

"Good," Charlie said. "Don't forget-you're _hanging_ with your friends tonight!"

I snorted. Water shot up my nose. I gagged. How could I have forgotten about that?

 _Dammit,_ I thought. _I guess I'll have to._

I brushed my hair, then slapped on some lipstick and swiped on some mascara. Soon, my reflection resembled a whole other, hotter, girl.

I smiled. Reflection girl smiled back. _Time to slay._

I always got this weird feeling when I was around Jacob and because of that I didn't really like to hang around him. For some reason he always smelled like some kind of wet animal. I assumed it was because he was an owner of multiple dogs or something so I thought nothing of it. It wasn't until I got to his house and found that he had no pets at all that I got a little suspicious. It wasn't like he could be a _werewolf_ though, because he wasn't cool enough for that-and everyone _knows_ werewolves don't exist. Hell, sometimes I still doubt that vampires exist, since the only ones _I_ know are wusses and eat animals! I mean, wouldn't it be cool if they could consume a human or something?

Oh wait, I forgot about those celebrity look alikes that were chasing me last year, they were lowkey scary. Especially that Jennifer Coolidge one. Her hair was a disaster zone. Her "snap was all over the place." as Jennifer Coolidge said in _Legally Blonde._ Then there was Dave Mustaine-I admit, he was actually kind of hot, in a weird 80's thrash metal veteran way.

Jacob emerged from his house. He wore a crop top. It only covered his boobs-I mean pecs though, and underneath that, there was a layer of sweating, bulging muscles. I climbed out of my truck, and tried to not to focus on his jigging boo-nevermind.

"Bella!" Jacob said.

I grimaced. It was the closest I could ever get to a smile.

 _Here comes Underdog,_ I thought. Jacob tried to hug me, but since he was super sweaty and smelled a little bit like Charlie, I ducked away.

"What's up, Bells?" Jacob asked. He grinned, for some reason when he smiled he always looked like some kind of canine. He looked at me a little bit like I was a sheep, but maybe he was into that sort of thing. Whatever, no judgement here.

"Wanna go for a ride on my motorbike?" Jacob asked. He giggled at the end. I had no idea why.

"Yeah, whatever," I said. trying to sound as mopey as possible. "Mopey" and "less mopey" were my two default moods-before Edward left, there were three-"mopey," "less mopey," and "kinda turned on but with a facial expression that looked like I just stepped on a Lego brick."

Jacob led me over to the garage. It was crammed full of so much junk, that I now was starting to wonder if the reason Jacob smelled like such a wet animal all the time was because he was some kind of hoarder. And maybe he had a thing for fursuits or something, because I was pretty sure I could make out at least three buried in the back.

"What are those?" I asked.

Jacob pulled me onto his bike. "Oh, those?" he chuckled nervously. "Nothing."

"No, I'm pretty sure that's a-" I started.

"What did you say?" Jacob turned the key in the ignition and the motorcycle roared to life. "I can't hear you!"

"Then turn the damn bike off!" I shouted  
"What!?" he said

"I said turn the-"

Just then he pressed on the gas and the motorcycle became even _louder_ as it started to move.

"Shouldn't we be wearing helmets?" I shouted.  
"It's 2015, who the fuck wears a helmet!?" He shouted back  
"Oh so now you can hear me perfectly fine, because a minute ago you-"  
"What!?"

The bike rolled through the forest. I screamed, and clung to Jacob's sweaty torso. His croptop was pressed against my cheek, and I hoped that I wouldn't break out from such skin-to-skin contact. I remembered Edward's cold, marble chest pressed against mine, and his fingers roaming over my spine. He really liked my spine, but he never really specified why.

I finally gathered up enough courage to open my eyes and when I did I saw that there was a curve approaching. Jacob didn't show that he had any intentions of slowing down.  
"Slow down or you're gonna get us killed!"

"What!?"  
"I said slow-"

And that's when the bike hit the rock and we both went sailing through the air.

"I thought you said you knew how to drive this thing!" I shouted when I gathered enough strength to lift my upper torso up and look around the forest. Jacob's body was next to mine, and he wasn't moving. I jammed my toe into his abs.

"Get up, dumbass!" I shrieked.

"What…?" he groaned, opening his eyes slowly.

"Is "what" the only thing you know how to say? It's literally the only thing you've said for the past hour!"

" _What_ was my first word, actually," Jacob said. "And also did you know that the blue whale has a larger penis than any other animal on earth? I have a large pe-."

I shuddered. "Are you even listening to anything I'm saying!?"

Jacob muttered something under his breath. It sounded an awful lot like "Charlie" but I decided to ignore it.

"How's the motorbike?" Jacob asked, but not before he noticed the blood dripping down my face. "You're bleeding!" he exclaimed.

I felt faint. _Blood._ I hated the scent and feeling of blood. Jacob stripped off his croptop, and pressed it against my face. "Is that helping?" he asked. I tried not to gag. The croptop was damp with sweat and stuck to my face with a peculiar slime.

"Yeah," I lied. "That helps."

Jacob pressed his bulging pectoral muscles against my chest. His nipples were pointy and hard. "Why are your nipples so hard?" I asked.

"I just got them pierced," Jacob answered. "Take a look." He pulled away from me, revealing two studs sticking out of his brown nipples. "Aren't they sexy?"  
"Sure," I lied, again. "Very."  
Jacob smiled, like a proud parent to two nipple babies. "That's what Cha-nevermind."

I leaned away from him, peeling the croptop off of my face. "Thanks for that," I said.

Jacob stood up. His legs were like tree trunks leading up to a speedo. "The bike is totaled." He said. "Oh well."

" _Oh well?"_ I tried not to sound surprised, as my face couldn't handle that kind of tension. "I thought you loved your bikes!"  
Jacob shrugged. "Not as much as I love Cha-goddammit!"

 _Cha?_ I decided not to press the issue.


End file.
